A tiny little truth and lesson for life!

After having read the blog post brief provided by #IndiBlogger for Kinley’s Kitna chain hota hai na sachchai mein #HappyHours campaign, I kept on wondering what exactly should I write. I am no saint and there have been instances in life where I have chosen to lie instead of revealing the truth to my parents or others, with the intention of keeping situations under control. But they have not been such that harms anybody. Today, I chose to write about an incident that became a life lesson for me way back in my early childhood.

I love food and the excitement of eating out never really dies in my case. While in school, Ma would pack some usual tiffin for me that would look and sound boring. Of course, it would’ve been impossible for her to make different types of snacks and meals every day but then, having the same old food never satisfied my hunger. At my school, Gokhale Memorial Girls’ School, students were allowed to buy food from the canteen from Std. II and that meant, we were allowed to carry money with us. While for most of us, it was more about the jhaal-muri and aloo kabli that mattered most than the food prepared at the canteen. When I had informed my parents about this deal in Std. II, I was first asked to get the rate card of the food items that were usually sold. They would vary from Rs. 3, 5 or maximum 10. I was allowed to carry Rs. 5 on the days I wanted to eat from the canteen.

Well, I did start having food from the canteen initially, but felt the need to save the money in the next few days. I would take money from Ma or Baba but never really used that money to buy food, neither at the canteen nor from the food stalls outside the school. I kept collecting and saving that money in a tiny purse that I had got as a gift. This went on for about a month or so until one fine day, Ma found out about the entire thing.

I was not able to find a classwork copy in my bag and like all other child, asked Ma to find it for me. I was pretty sure that her expert eyes will not skip the copy. While she rummaged through my bag, she, instead of the copy, found the purse and the money inside. I had, actually kudos to me, saved about Rs. 50 by then, which in any case was a big amount. She wasn’t sure about how I ended up with so much money and just asked me about it. With a very scared look on my face and fearing a big scolding on my way, I chose to gulp down the truth. For the initial five to seven minutes, I heard her scolding me and threatening me about how Baba will scold me. While I chose to keep quiet till Baba would come and hear me out, the fear and guilt of hiding this truth kept creeping me out. Baba reached home and we started the case. Ma explained the entire scenario and I was asked to speak up. Not having the courage and strength to hold it back anymore, I spoke. The truth. “This is the money that I have been keeping in my purse for the past one month. The same money that you give me for eating at the canteen and also jhal muri. I just didn’t eat but thought of saving the money because I heard you that we need to save money for emergency situations and that wasting money is not good.” 

They obviously didn’t know what to say but I knew, this wasn’t the statement that they were expecting from me. They both replied, “It is our responsibility to save money and not yours, at least at the moment. We gave you money to eat because you wanted but that doesn’t mean that you put it in the bag and don’t use it. This is neither saving nor proper utilization of the money. We could have used this money in some other cases. If you don’t want to eat out, then don’t take the money on that day. And if you wish to save, we have the Mickey House where we drop coins and rupee notes to save for emergency situations. We appreciate how you thought about the entire thing but did you realize, if you got caught by your teacher, what would’ve happened?”

Yes, I realised. Now, why I call this tiny incident in my life as a life lesson is because, my parents cleared my misconceptions. The very importance of understanding what people mean when they say something is important. And Baba taught me about the importance of saving and proper utilization of resources. This, now, sounds like a petty situation but at that moment, telling them the truth definitely felt like the right thing to do.

While watching this advertisement by Kinley, many of such incidents stirred up in my mind and I kept on reminiscing about them. There have been situations where I have told myself to speak up the truth to avoid any further deterioration of the situations and went ahead to tell my parents about it. It definitely felt the right thing to do. 

When I chased a bus in a bus!

Disclaimer: This definitely doesn't happen every day. It is once in a lifetime experience because you do not tend to end up in such weird situations every often. This experience of mine is a unique one and I hope I do not end up in such a situation anymore.

In Bangalore, you have the provision of buying monthly passes for accessing public buses. I normally buy the one that allows me to travel in the Volvo buses and it costs Rs. 2250 (if you already own an identity card) and Rs. 2300 (if you do not). On the very first day of December, 2014 I was ready to buy the monthly pass and boarded a Volvo bus from the nearby bus stop. I informed the bus conductor to give me one that costs Rs. 2250 and to hurry up since I will be getting down in the next stop itself. He informed that he doesn't have that one but instead will give me the one that costs Rs. 2300. I agreed. By the time, he handed me the pass I got down without taking the change of Rs. 200. Neither did he remember nor did I notice.

It struck me just at the moment when I got down from the bus and checked for the change. The bus was gone and there was no way that I could have chased it by running with a heavy backpack. Just when I was wondering what to do, another Volvo came and I got into the bus. I explained to the conductor and the driver what had happened, with an all confused and helpless look. They asked if I noted the bus number (from the number plate) to which I replied, no. Then something exciting happened!

Both the driver and conductor ensured that I will be able to catch the bus and get my money back. Luckily there wasn't any other Volvo bus of the same route between both these buses and this bus could follow the earlier one. Since we were a little behind, we were getting stuck at every signal that the earlier one cleared. But this chasing one made sure that it zooms through the traffic and not stop unnecessarily at stoppages. The chase was turning into an exciting one where not only I but the driver and conductor were in equal anticipation. At each and every signal, while my prayers to God increased its pace, for the driver the wait to drive a little faster to catch up was visible clearly. Finally, at one signal both the bus got stuck. The driver was quick enough to let me get down and run and catch the earlier one. I ran through the cars and knocked on the bus door. Normally, the buses do not allow passengers to board buses in the middle of the road but this one did. I got into the bus, caught hold of the conductor and asked for the money. Initially, he denied but then when I told him I had got down without taking the change and mentioned the bus stop, he remembered and thankfully, gave me the change without much problems.

Now, I was in an area which was completely off track from the route to my office and I was left with a new bus pass and change that was destined to be spent on auto fare. But this chasing a bus in another bus will always remain a special one, for I know, these unique experiences visit you very rarely.

He quit smoking, finally!

As a kid, I always wondered why is Baba carrying a box filled with white sticks in his pocket and occasionally will light these sticks up and put them in his mouth. Not knowing what exactly these apparent sticks were, I was more interested in how smoke keep coming out of his mouth every time he repeated the act. Not only he but his friends and many other relatives did the same thing. Well, when I actually understood what Baba used to smoke, he had already quit after being told by the doctor. But the others didn’t. One of them being a very close relative whose life would come to a standstill if he didn’t smoke for a while.

I am allergic to the smell of cigarette smoking and hence, keep myself away from the people smoking as much as possible. I make sure that they understand it’s disturbing and suffocating by using my facial antics and expressions. Sometimes it work and sometimes it doesn’t. More than they moving away from me, they ask me to move to a smoke-free place and wait until they finish. This leaves me insulted and ignored at times. With this particular relative of mine, I used to feel the same way until his wife came over one day and asked me to move away to the corner near the window.

Because of the disliking that I have for smoking and having already been told that it is harmful to your health, I really wanted to ask him, why don’t you quit smoking? How does smoking help you anyway? He replied, “I started smoking in my 20s to be part of the elite group and be part of the trendsetters and socialise. But it soon became a habit and now, an addiction. It is very difficult to move away or rather quit smoking for me. I don’t think I will survive even for a minute.” Well, it sounded like he had made up his mind not to quit.

Things, however, changed with time. I was visiting them on a weekend at the time when I had started working for the first time. I was writing for a healthcare knowledge processing company and had to read extensively on health issues. We had worked on a campaign against smoking and I had already mugged up the reasons why one should quit smoking. While I spoke elaborately on each of the reasons, he had his own reason to counter them. Say for instance:

1. You smell like smoke: Oh! Doesn’t matter. There are mouth sprays, chewing gums and perfumes to cover for me.
2. Your sense of taste and smell is go! : No. This doesn’t happen in literal terms. I make sure I do not smoke more than one ciggie before having food. And when you’re smoking for more than 45 years at a stretch, it seriously does not count.
3. You age pre-maturely and get wrinkles on your face: (chuckles) Well, I am happily married for the past 40 years. Does it really matter now?
4. People are now very conscious about second-hand smoking too. They will not even invite you for their social gatherings: Well, my buddies smoke and we are happy with each other.
5. You are exposed to infections of all kinds: There are ways to fight them back.
6. You are a danger for others around you: That’s why I have started smoking near the window or in the balcony where nobody is there to feel at danger.
7. Your physical fitness will go for a toss: I still go for morning walks every day and I am as fit as you think of.
8. You save so much money: I have earned enough to spend on this luxury.

Well, I wasn’t in the mood for a debate with him and chose to stay out of the conversation for some time. Although it was irritating and annoying to debate with him, the feeling of having failed to convince him to quit smoking was way more frustrating. I just kept asking myself, why can’t one quit smoking? What is that thing that stops them from quitting? How can they ignore the message “Smoking is injurious to health” written on the box so confidently? Why don’t they take the message seriously instead of being oblivion about it?

Photo courtesy: http://profiles.nlm.nih.gov/VC/Views/Exhibit/visuals/antismoking.html

The next time I visited him, I felt some change in the house and him. Auntie looked at me and told me that he has something to tell me. I looked at him while he pointed to a cigarette box with 6 cigarettes in it kept on the showcase in their cabinet. I gave a questioning look, wondering what the message could be. It was, miracle has happened. He had quit smoking, FINALLY! And it was on the insistence of his daughter who gave him an ultimatum that either he chooses his life or meeting her and the grandkids.  His doctor had told him about the possible complications of having severe bronchitis if he didn’t quit smoking with immediate effect and face the adverse effects. He chose his daughter and the kids for good.

PS: It’s been already four years since he quit smoking and the box is kept intact as a memento. Now, that’s a unique one to cherish. He has less signs of Bronchitis and is fitter than ever compared to people of his age.